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Old 05-30-2008, 06:57 PM
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Sad Need help w/motivation

I needed to post these somewhere. Anywhere really. I've been depressed lately, and have had no motivation to do anything in the house. I know I have to get things done with my baby on the way. I won't invite people over because I'm ashamed. I know I only have a few more months before my little bean gets here. Still, this room goes untouched.
I actually got some motivation a few days ago and cleaned out 3 bags full of clothes and 2 of trash. I've been "working" on this since I got pregnant. After my baby died I let everything go. Myself included. I gained almost 100lbs, and quit caring.
My room is so small, I'm really not sure how we'll all fit, but where the large pile of clothing is I plan on putting in the crib. The entertainment center is being traded for a big dresser if I can find one. Just looking at this makes me even more depressed. I didn't realize how bad it looked until after I saw the pictures. I get up in the morning and plan on starting. By the time I've finished breakfast and checked email I'm so tired and depressed I go back to bed.
I'm hoping that if I post pictures of it now, and as I get motivation to continue cleaning that seeing the improvement will help me. I'm also hoping the humiliation of you all seeing it will help me get motivated.
Please don't be too hard on me. I'm seriously considering bagging up everything except what's clean and I wear a lot and donating it to a charity. Throwing out everything and starting fresh.
I've tried everything for motivation. Playing music, drinking Pepsi (for caffeine and an energy burst), and even withholding things from myself. Nothing so far has helped. Does anyone have suggestions for motivation?


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Old 05-30-2008, 07:03 PM
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well u have your work cut out for you that is for sure! good luck, i hope u get the motivation to do it. just keep telling yourself its for the baby and you'll have a cute little nursery soon!
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Old 05-30-2008, 08:06 PM
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I'd do just what you said. Bag everything just keep what you are using right now. If you haven't seen it in a few months chances are you won't miss it. Start with one corner and knock that out in one day. Don't try to attack the whole room at once it'll just make it seem impossible. Or start with your dresser, get that cleaned off and the move on. I've seen worse!
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Old 05-30-2008, 11:09 PM
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I suggest you talk to someone. If you are depressed and go back to bed after breakfast, I highly doubt its simply dreading cleaning that is doing it to you. You need to get help so you can be the great mom I know you want to be. That would be VERY unhealthy and dangerous for a baby to be brought in to. So, I think finding a therapist and maybe enlisting the help of a friend will help you get on track. Good luck to you.
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Old 05-31-2008, 10:34 AM
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i'm agreeing with the other posts. If it is depression, then finding a therapist and possibly needing medication, might help you (and baby) feel better to be able to cope with the things around you.

also, your idea of one step at a time. a goal like, today I will clean the entertainment center. tomorrow I'll attack this pile of clothes - and I agree with the "if you haven't seen it, you won't miss it" theory. I've had to do some big purges at times and it actually feels good to give a trunk load of stuff away to goodwill

good luck, and try to get some help for the depression too I know how that is, and it's not easy.
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Old 05-31-2008, 10:51 AM
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You can do this hon! Just say to yourself it's for the baby as well as you. I agree with taking it a little section at a time. Don't try to tackle the whole room as you will get overwhelmed. Maybe enlist a friend or your partner/husband to help organize piles or bag things up. The room will look wonderful once you get it straightened and ready for your bundle of joy.
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Old 05-31-2008, 03:28 PM
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my Mom has Depression...so this is what helps her get motivated to do things that need to be done...
she'll say otay dishes need washing...she'll wash 10 or so then be like wow that was easy...and do another 10...when all dishes are done she'll give herself a treat *~doing something she enjoys...for Mom tis drawing/writing...~* so she'll sit down and draw a picture or w/e...and then she'll see what needs to be done next and say if I get this done I'll make cookies...something lil that means a lot to her...something she enjoys to do...

so my suggestion is do 1 thing @ a time...like start with the entertainment center...if needed moving so many things @ a time then stopping and seeing the change...then doing so many more...then when you get the entertainment center cleaned off do something you enjoy...and then come back rather tis the next day or not...and do the next thing the same way as you did the entertainment center...
it helps to move/clean so many things @ a time...stop see the change...it helps you to feel like you;re doing something...
it also helps to keep in mind that soon you'll have a nice clean room and a place for the crib...working towards small goals gets the big goal done...

good luck!!!
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Old 06-09-2008, 03:24 PM
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How's it going? Are you making some progress?

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Old 07-02-2008, 03:46 PM
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If you are not actively using that stuff in that room ITA with giving it away to charity or just throwing it away if its easier.

I hate to sound wasteful, but honestly, you just need to purge so you can get stuff done for your baby and breathe again.

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Old 07-02-2008, 10:19 PM
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I agree with kellyk and the others... if you're not missing it right now you won't be. Just toss it all out and start over. That's what I've done before.

Good luck and I hope you can beat your depression.
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Old 07-24-2008, 05:37 PM
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Maybe you could set a goal for yourself like, one room a week, or anything that seems realistic to you. Don't set them too high and try to tackle everything in one day or even everything in one week (if you know you can't). Also, if you are depressed you should seek medical help b/c it can't be healthy for the baby or yourself. Drinking pepsi (or any caffine) or indulging in things you've tried but know won't work isn't too good either. You should definately try to focus without having to withdraw b/c the more you withdraw the more you want what you can't have. I think your BIGGEST motivation should be your CHILD I know my post is like 2mos late but I just thought I'd give you my two cents. If you've already conquered all this. KUDOS to you!!!!! You did it If not then, Good luck, and let us know how it all goes.
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Last edited by cimechang : 07-24-2008 at 05:40 PM.
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Old 08-03-2008, 03:46 PM
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I talked to my doctor about sleeping issues and he put me on an antidepressant. I've been taking it for about a week now, and I am feeling better. I have made some progress, but not as much as I'd like. All the things in the corner of the first picture are cleaned up, and I've moved the baby's changing table in. I've also washed all her 0-3 month clothes and have them folded and stacked in Steralite tubs.
Thank you all for checking back in with me. I am sorry I haven't updated sooner.
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Old 08-03-2008, 07:36 PM
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That's great! Make sure you celebrate your progress.
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