Smoking

[anonymous bean]

Ok I have to address something I went to the venting room and saw a post on smoking I have to come to the defence of SOME of the smokers your bashing.
First of all not all smokers are bad people I know no one came right out and said "Smokers are bad people" but as bad you guys were talking about them you might as well.
Someone I love greatly smokes and got hooked on cigaretes when they were young you know "Peer Presure" it happens.
And this person has tried to quit but it is REALLY HARD to do in case you havent heard its harder to quit smoking than quiting COCAINE!
I REALLY REALLY REALLY understand your concern for your children and you have EVERY right in the world to worry and I do think resturants have to do better than what they do as far as smoking and non smoking sections go.
The person in my life who smokes DOES NOT SMOKE in a public places at all so others wont have to smell or be around the smoke.
I know I sounds harsh but it hurts me when I hear someone say something bad about people who smoke when I LOVE someone who does and I know others who do that I care about. I have even heard someone say anybody who smokes should die:(

Again sorry if I was harsh.

[pixiechic]

See, I just don't know about that whole 'harder to quit than cocaine'. I smoked for over 10 years - now, this is just MY experience - I realize everyone is different. But I smoked for that long, up to a pack a day, sometimes more. And some of the ones I smoked were non-filtered even. So yeah, I was a hard-core smoker. I got some nasty scary blisters in my throat that would not go away and freaked me the hell out. I quit. Right then and there. Chopped the pack I had up and never looked back. It's a decision. You just don't buy any more. Is it hard? Yes. But, it's a decision. You decide to go in the store and buy that next pack. You decide to open it. You decide to light up. So...it's all about will power. If you want to quit you have to change your habits. If you're a drinking smoker - quit drinking. ( I had to do that as well - it was too tempting to have a cig while having a beer etc) If you smoke on your breaks at work - quit taking them, or do something else instead. I quit taking my breaks or walked the building to help with the cravings. Anyway, all of that to say, obviously it CAN be done.

Now, onto the people who smoke should die - I definitely don't agree with that. Several people I love with my heart and soul smoke. And obviously, I want them to quit but it's their decision. Do I want them to die? Of course not.

And let me add - I have not read the post you're talking about so maybe I should.

But I do get really pissed off when people are puffing away, killing themselves one stick at a time and blowing those toxins right on me or my children. Yeah, that pisses me off. If you want to kill yourself go right ahead. But do it in your space. Not mine.

[asgarland]

I'm sure that the girls in the venting room were not bashing smokers for the most part. In fact, after going back and rereading the posts, the majority of them is about smoking bans and wishing they could go to a public place and NOT be exposed to it. There seems to be only maybe one comment about a person, and I don't think it was any specific person. I am in no way trying to start a controversy here, however I do not believe the post was not made to offend anyone in general. I'm sure most of the girls that replied in the original post know someone that smokes. They are simply stating that they don't want there children around it, and I totally agree.

[pixiechic]

I read the posts and don't see any bashing....

[GreyhoundMama]

I don't believe it was an attack on smokers personally but on establishments/states that allow it. I grew up in a 3 generation home where my grandparents and my uncle both smoked while I grew up. So I have lived with it from age 5 until I was probably 18 and even dated a guy that smoked but it doesn't mean I didn't love them. My grandmother quit cold turkey but my grandfather didn't and my uncle still smokes. So I know it can be hard to quit and agree it varies from person to person.

[charisma]

Originally Posted by pixiechic

See, I just don't know about that whole 'harder to quit than cocaine'. I smoked for over 10 years - now, this is just MY experience - I realize everyone is different.

It isn't the same for everyone, but from my own personal experience, it WAS harder to quit smoking than cocaine. I was seriously into some bad bad stuff and I was able to quit without any relapse, but I cannot say the same for when I quit smoking...then again cigarettes are easier to come by than the other stuff.

[Ange11a]

The thing about quitting is that you have got to want it badly or it isn't going to work. That, and a strong support system. I smoked for 11 years, a pack a day. Smoked throughout my pregnancy with DD#1 (thank God she is ok, although she did have asthma when she was younger). DH is a non-smoker, always has been. I got so sick of not making it through movies at the theater or being outside when we would go places with friends (I was the only one who did). Right after our wedding in 2001 I signed up for a smoking cessation class. I went to every class, took Zyban for about 1 months and the patch for 2 weeks. I was done and it has been 6 1/2 years since my last. Again, I wanted it BAD, and I had a great support system. We're all different. Hopefully those who do can get the help they need, and if they don't want it then so be it.

[Tiggergirl0325]

I think the vast majority of the posts in that thread were directed towards smokers who smoke in public, not smokers in general. I think you'd be hard pressed to find someone who doesn't have at least one loved one who smokes and many of the us here are former (or current) smokers. I can't say one way or the other about how hard it is to quit because I was a very casual smoker in college--never more than one or two a day if that; a pack would last me a month--so it was very easy for me to quit. My stepdad was quite addicted. He started at 12 and smoked until he died two years ago at 50. He tried many many times, had multiple health issues and still smoked. When it came down to it, he just didn't want to quit. I loved him and would never say I wanted him to die, but I will say that I hated his smoking, hated that it made my mom's house (and my siblings) wreak of smoke, and wished for so many reasons that he would have quit for good.

I really think that if you are determined, find your trigger (98% of the time it's not the nicotine addiction--it's the relaxation from the deep breathing, or an oral fixation, or literally just having something to do that you're addicted to) and are willing to change, you can do it. Is it easy? No. But it can be done.

I'm not saying that smokers should die. I would never say anyone should die for anything they do...that's not my position to say. Though, their decision is killing themselves slowly. But to say that I don't like smoking, and that smokers that smoke around my kids anger me, isn't a personal attack against every smoker in the world.

[Holly]

I think people are just happy about smoking being banned in restaurants and bars. I hate it when people smoke around me, HATE IT. I don't hate the person, I just hate what they're doing because it affects everyone around them in what I consider to be a selfish act. I don't care what a smoker does off in the distance, in their car, their house, ect.

My DH was a smoker when I met him. He smoked over a pack a day for over 10 years. He'd wake up at 3am and go outside and smoke. I told him he HAD to stop, that it was a gross expensive habit. He did the patch and never looked back.

That's just my opinion, doesn't mean I wish smokers would all drop dead. I had family members who smoked for years and it doesn't change how I feel about smoking in general

[Tiggergirl0325]

Jennifer--I think you make a great point about availability. It's not the chemical addiction that lingers (nicotine is out of your system in two weeks), it's the temptation. You don't have groups of people standing around in public smoking cocaine, you don't have cocaine displayed prominently in every gas station and grocery store, etc.

[Kim]

I have to agree with what everyone has to say. I would never want anyone to drop dead because of thier choice to smoke. My dad and both my brothers smoke, I love them dearly. They just are not allowed to smoke around my children or in my home. Also, when they were here at Christmas I gave them an empty coffee can and I expected them to put thier butt's in it when they were done.

Personally, I cant stand the smell of the stuff. It gives me headaches and makes me nautious. I just think that as with anything you need to be courtesous and think of other's around you. So, just dont smoke around me or my children and we can be the best of friends.

[Mrs.M]

Wow. I didn't get the "bashing" thing at all reading all of the posts again. I smoked for years and most of my and dh's family smoke. The thing is when you smoke you make a choice BUT you should also be considerate of others. The problem here is not really the smokers, it's where they smoke. If you have to walk through a fog of smoke (especially with your child) to get into a building or breath it in, in a resturant for example, it is no longer the smokers choosing something for themselves but for everyone else it affects. My mom smoked and died of lung cancer. I would NEVER wish that on anyone. EVER. But I also don't want my child exposed to it so if you want to see him and you smoke you have to choose to smoke outside.

[egills]

I never meant for anyone to feel like I was bashing smokers in my post. I don't think smokers are bad people at all. Their habit is terrible but not the person. If you choose to smoke that is your decision. I have several close friends and family members who smoke or who have smoked in the past and I love them dearly. But they all understand that I will not expose my children to it. If they come to my house, they go outside to smoke. Heck, most of them go outside at their own homes to smoke because they don't want to expose their family members to it.

What I don't like is the fact that I couldn't take my children out for dinner without being exposed to it. My chest actually hurt when we left that restaurant and we all reaked. If public places are going to continue to allow smoking, then they need to come up with a better solution to the problem. Rooms need to be totally closed off and ventilation needs to be better.

I agree with Lacey about quitting. You have to want to do it. It's a choice, either you want it or you don't. My DH was a hard core smoker. He used to smoke about a pack a day. I said to him that if we were to have children, then I would like him to stop. I want him to be around to help raise them and to see all the milestones in their lives. It was tough and he had some set backs but he finally kicked the habit. Once he saw his girls, he knew he had to quit for him and for them.