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03-26-2008, 12:38 PM
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I feel like a horrible Parent.
 I dont know what overcame me today. I have never acted like this and hope to have better control of myself in the future. I am posting this anonymously because I am so ashamed of myself and do not want anyone to think bad of me. So, this morning my child had a toy and hit another in the head with it. Not only did this child hit the other but the toy got stuck in the other child's hair. The other child started screaming and I went off the hook. I took child #1 to time out after I spanked him. This is where I am ashamed. I should have just taken child #1 to time out but I spanked him and I took said toy and bust it to peices. Then I threw the toy away and child #1 start back talking me so I smacked his face. I had NO right doing so. I should have just ignored the child but I didnt. I just want to curl up in a shell and never come back out I am so ashamed. I made amends with my child. But how can he still love me after what I did? I dont get it. I wouldnt. I wonder if I am coming off my anit-depressants too soon. Or if I should come off them. I have been weaning for a few months now and I have a little less than a week and I will be completely off. I wonder if I should call my dr for a script for the middle dose. I do not want this to happen again. I would say, if I were reading this, that I was an abusive parent. But I am not. I dont hit my children. I get upset and angry but feel that time out is the best course of action. I feel that it takes much more control to put a child in time out rather than spank or hit. So, why did I hit my child? I dont understand where this came from. Help! Please. I do know what to do.  
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03-26-2008, 01:01 PM
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I just wanted to send
 your way. Sorry you're feeling so miserable. I don't think you're a bad parent, since this was an isolated incident and anyone can snap, especially under the circumstances you're dealing with. I would definitely call your doc to get some meds to help hold you over and take the edge off. So you shouldn't have smacked the mouthy child in the face, but he/she did need to be disciplined.  I don't think you sound abusive, just stressed. You felt bad immediately after, and I'm assuming you sat the child down and talked with them after things calmed down. Is there anyway your spouse or family can watch your kids for a bit so you can have a break and gain some normalcy again? Maybe a nap and some time alone would help you put things in perspective again? I know us mommies aren't good about asking for help when we need it, and we wonder why we're at our breaking point. 
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03-26-2008, 01:02 PM
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I say go back on the medication. I have detoxed before and it isn't pleasant and it doesn't sound like you are ready to go off of them yet if you are getting this kind of reaction.
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03-26-2008, 05:32 PM
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You're not coming off of Zoloft are you? Zoloft can cause incredible episodes of rage when you're weaning off of it....I'm not sure if it's "typical" of other anti-depressants or not.
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Jamie Completely blessed mommy to Rebecca, Ashleigh, Angel Baby, Béla Jr., & Itty Bitty due 6/09 ! To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
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03-26-2008, 05:46 PM
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Really, you show me one mom who hasn't done something they regret when their kid has pushed thier buttons too far one day. Your not abusing your kids, if you did that every single time they upset you it would be different. I agree with what everyone said about coming off of those meds. I took zoloft after I had Cole and had a VERY hard time getting off of it.
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03-26-2008, 08:19 PM
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ITA with everything Candice said. If you feel that the antidepressants help you cope and have more patience then I wouldn't rush to come off of them. I think you could use some "mommy" time to yourself. Do you have anyone who can give you a break for an afternoon or a few hours? Please don't let one incident define your entire career as a "mom" .... as long as you learned that it was something you don't ever want to happen again, then I wouldn't beat yourself up over it. Hope you are feeling better tonight
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03-26-2008, 08:23 PM
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PS.... I also wanted to add that I believe spankings are completly warranted under certain circumstances (like hurting others or hurting self). I read in a book that you should only swat the bottom (and not when you are in a fit of anger) and that one or two swats constitutes a spanking, any more then that is considered abusive. So even if you normally don't spank, as long as you aren't hitting in rage and only swat once or twice, I really don't see any harm in that
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03-26-2008, 08:35 PM
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I too am guilty of "flying off the handle" before. I felt ssooooo bad after and I promised myself I would NEVER allow myself to act like that again. Now if my patience runs low I put myself in time out. If you learned something and it's not your "normal" behaviour I say you are a NORMAL mom doing the best you can!!!!
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03-26-2008, 08:46 PM
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, I think you got some great advice from the other girls.
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03-26-2008, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
We're a spanking (only on the butt of course) family too (it actually quite rare). We do 1, up to 3 spanks depending on how severe the behavior was, and then do a time out after to cool down. Then we discuss it with the kids after. I know DH and I could always stand to improve in the area of discipline, but for the most part it works well with our DS. I just wanted to reiterate to the OP don't feel bad, one incident doesn't define you as a mom, and to an extent, I probably would have handled the situation like you did.
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03-27-2008, 01:14 PM
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Thank you everyone. Today is a much better day for me and my children, but that is because it is an "on" day for the meds. I take/took Effexor, and the withdrawl symptoms are HORRIBLE!! Worse than Zoloft.
So, today I am much more calm and time outs have been going well. For them and for me. LOL I talked to my dh last night and he supports me in whatever I choose to do. However, my sexual drive is going back up and he doesnt want to loose that.  So, I figure I will finish the detoxing processs and give it a few weeks. If I feel that within a few weeks I do need soemthing I will call my dr and get something, like Zoloft. Thanks again for understanding me.
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03-28-2008, 02:19 AM
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everyone has their breaking point, and it was just this one incident; this one time. honey, it happens to the best of us. youre not a bad parent; the fact you feel really about it shows everyone it as unintentional. as much as we'd like to think it, we're not superhuman.
*hugz* i would suggest talking with your doctor. i dont think youre a bad person, honey.
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Everyone has a story to tell; its up to you if you want to listen or not. I would think listening to someone elses story will give you insights into your own life. ~Tess~ If you lose hope, you will lose everything. Misdirection is the key to victory, never attack what your enemy defends, never behave as your enemy expects, and never reveal your true strengths, if knowledge is power, to be unknown is to be unconquerable. ~VardicDestroyer~
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03-30-2008, 06:32 PM
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I agree w/the other gals. An isolated incident does not a bad mommy make. I definitely think it sounds like you're not quite ready to come off of your medication. An increased sex drive doesn't make up for flying off the handle. I also agree that it sounds like you could use a short 'break' from the kids. Good luck!!!
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