I'm sure you can come up with some great ideas by looking online. I can see where you would be upset that you didn't have a big celebration because its a joyous ocasion
I don't think it would be a bad idea if your doing a gathering informally to ask people to bring a dish, especially if you do it in the sense of a family gathering and also to celebrate our marriage type thing. Or if your uncomfortable with asking people to bring a dish you could just make fruit salad and meat trays on your own as well as a pasta salad so you wouldn't have to use a caterer.