[anonymous bean]

My husband & I have not been married all that long, since November. We had been together almost 4 yrs at that time. My dh never proposed to me it was just decided that we would get married. We could not afford a real fancy ring, or big wedding. It was also kind of last minute and in winter. So, we only had the two of at the wedding. The only people who knew ahead of time were dh's mom & dad. We were married by a pastor at a nice B&B that we had visited once before & enjoyed. Within a month we had informed all family/friends that we had been married & we did have a photographer there so we did give my parents & his parents/grandparents a nice photo & we got a memory book/pics for ourselves. Everything did cost a quite a bit, but not compared to a 'real' wedding. Anyway, our plan was originally to have this wedding with the two of us & then later on this year have kind of a reception/party so that family could share in the occasion with us. His family did kinda of seem to want this.
Well, now this time has passed. We don't yet have anything planned for this & we also still don't really have any money. We have children & a house that needs some attention. We originally planned to do this for the family & to further celebrate getting married, but now dh seems uncomfortable about it and I don't think he wants to do it. My family alienated most of our relatives & my siblings don't speak to me. I used to have lots of friends, but lost track of all of them & am a supershy SAHM so it is hard for me to meet people. There is one person besides my parents I would invite. So, really this is for dh's family/friends & us. I also feel a little uncomfortable as I don't want it to seem like we just want wedding gifts because that is not what this is. We have a small home (dh plans to upgrade in a couple years) so I don't even know where we will keep the stuff till then.
Is it appropriate to have this later on reception like this? Do people ever do this? I thought about having a 2nd ceremony but I don't know if that would be affordable & we are legally married, though it would be fun to have a ceremony w/my nieces in it, etc! I thought maybe whatever we did we could hopefully cram everyone in the backyard & hope it doesn't rain. I'm exactly sure how it would work.
Also, does anyone have any neat ideas for something elegant but inexpensive? I tend to like things that are more traditional & am a romantic at heart. We will prob do something w/our fav colors - pink & green.
Another thing I'm having a hard time w/is how things were done. I am really sad I don't have some beautiful romantic proposal story to remember & tell my kids & also I would have felt more like my s/o had REALLY wanted to marry me that way, if that makes sense. Also, a lot of dh's friends have married recently & as they do I feel bad & a little resentful that I did not get a wedding/reception, etc. It probably makes me seem shallow, but I can't help how I feel. I thought it would be no big deal, but now I feel like missed out on something big. Our wedding was very nice, but it's not the same. Any idea on how to deal w/this. I think dh does sense that on a certain level, but not entirely & I haven't spelled it all out to him. I'm also not sure if it bothers him. Someone, please help me! I feel so confused about all this & I hope it's not as confusing to read. TIA