[September]

My mother was mentally ill from the time I was about 10 until I was 17. She was in and out of mental hospitals, tried to commit suicide more than once. She was a horrible mother during that time, neglectful, borderline abusive, and very, very hurtful.

I made up my mind a long time ago NOT to be like MY mother. I'm a damn good mother to my children. I love them with my whole heart. It's taken a lot to overcome my past and to "unlearn" things I learned from my mother. Now that Rebecca is 11 I look at her sometimes and wonder how the hell my mother could have treated me so badly at Rebecca's age. Being reminded of that hurt is what drives me to overcome my past. It hasn't been easy at times, but my children deserve it.

If you have the option I would recommend counseling, if nothing more just have someone to talk to that can help you resolve some of that emotional baggage you've been carrying around for so long. Once you get it all up and get it all out you'll begin to heal and that will enable you to move on and forward.

Like they say knowing is half the battle...you know how you DON'T want to be/act/treat others. It takes a lot of brutally honest self -reflection and personal accountability to make sure we don't turn into our mothers, and having a supportive significant other will help a lot.